these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
