And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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