it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize