oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
