South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
