You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
