is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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