He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize