HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
