Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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