Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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