whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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