So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
What a dumb baby whore.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
