on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
