I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
