I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
