I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
