Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
