If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
