Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
