normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
