im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im holly from the hills drunk
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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