What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
