brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
