Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
