You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
