What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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