WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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