This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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