we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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