I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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