Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
