just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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