Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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