it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
