pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she told me i tasted like america
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
