okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
