There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
