I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
