Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
