this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Do vagina's smell?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
