where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
