I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
