did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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