shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Life is so much better after having sex.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
