why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
