grandma shit on top of the toilet
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
