I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
