how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
