I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Its about making memories worth repressing
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Randomize
