Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
