my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
