So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he shaved USA in his pubs
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
