Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
