I think i peed on brittanys purse
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
