I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
pray to the hookup gods
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
