hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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