It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
