If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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