I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
