I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
