I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
