You smell like a Billy Joel song
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
