i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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