i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
