Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
