we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
