So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dicks are not precious.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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