I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
