Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i think my tv is drunk
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
