Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
